Chilling Adventures in Sorcery As Told by Sabrina #1 (1972)

Now this is an oddball comic book. Chilling Adventures in Sorcery As Told by Sabrina is basically a serious horror comic, featuring vampires and monsters and murderous revenge plots, and yet it’s all narrated in classic Archie Comics form by Sabrina the Teen-Age Witch.
 
Take the first story, for instance. "Behold the Beast" tells the story of Tommy, born with four arms and an agly face, and a temprament to match. He lives chained up in his parents’ attic but one day manages to shake his steel shackles and run away from home. Wandering out of his neighborhood, Timmy attracts a posse of attackers as he runs into the woods, the same reason where, for reasons left unexplained, a blind girl just happens to be wandering. The blind girl talks to him and of course likes him: "You’re not horrible to behold. Not to me, you’re not! You see, I’m blind. I can’t behold anything. And you sound as kind as they sound cruel." Yes, the blind girl in the woods has a heart of gold, as so many blind girls in woods do. Of course, fate intervenes between our young crush-sharers, and the girl falls into a quicksand pit. Guess what happens next? Yes, our hero, poor misunderstood Timmy, jumps into the quicksand and saves the girl, sacrificing himself in the process. The monster is dead, the posse goes back to drink their beer, and the girl is sobbing and alone. Sounds like a great Saturday night to me.
 
And this whole thing is drawn in a Dan DeCarlo type style – it may even be DeCarlo – that looks like it should be drawing a story about Archie battling the schemes of Betty and Veronica. Weeeird.
 
Not to obsess over this one story, but it raises so many spooky questions for me, things that merit this being turned into a whole novel. Who are these parents who lock their monster up in an attick, chained up? What kind of cruelty prevents him from even going to the bathroom freely? And why is he a monster just because he had four arms and was ugly? Over at Marvel he would be attending Professor Xavier’s Academy; was he just born in the wrong place and time? Why was this neighborhood so quick to have a posse form, and why do all these men have guns? Is there perhaps a plague of four-armed ugly men? Why is there quicksand in woods? This doesn’t seem to be a tropical area, so what would cause the quicksand to form? And of course the real question is: where can I meet a beautiful blind girl with long straight blonde hair and a nice figure who will love me for who I am and not the pathetic misshapen monster that I look like from the outside?
 
Oh, sorry, I’d better stop this post before my tears burn out my motherboard.
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